Joy > Perfection

I bet you’ve seen those Facebook posts that say “What I thought my job would look like” and it shows a serene picture then the next picture is what reality looks like it’s pretty messy. A lot of us get stuck in the “what it should look like trap” rather than embracing the mess and seeing where it takes you.

 

I’ve been slowly studying “The Artist Way” by Julia Cameron, which I highly recommend to stuck people like me. In the book Julia says “Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right.” “It is a loop – an obsessive, debilitating, closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details…” This! This jumped out to me. I’ve always said that I am a perfectionist. To be honest, I saw it as an asset. I don’t put out messy stuff. Sure it takes a while and I think a lot but how could that be bad. How? Well, for one I had been holding myself back from true potential because I want to do things “right”. I have brainstormed a lot of business ideas and I sit on them retooling them in my head over and over again. Sometimes I share my ideas with others and then I get frustrated when they run with the messy version and find success. Why can’t I get out of my own way? Simply put I’m afraid of others seeing my fail and failing to see that being stuck is not letting me fly. Being trapped in fear takes the joy out of the journey.

 

In my job, I sell clothes but that’s not all that I do. I do a lot of listening and coaching. I hear women tell me that they are not happy with themselves because their bodies don’t look like they are “supposed to”. I see women hold back from choosing clothing items that they love because someone told them that they shouldn’t wear stripes or had to dress their age. I also hear these women tell me that they have full closets with clothes that they do not wear. Why would that be? Could it be because these clothes do not feel good because they do not represent who they are inside? When you’re in my shop I help you to change your thought process when you look in the mirror. The question shouldn’t be “what will they think of me?”  but “how do I feel when I see myself?”. There is nothing better than seeing someone smile at themselves in the mirror because they finally see the person on the inside reflected on the outside. Don’t get stuck in the rut of trying to fit into someone else’s mold. You can be professional, a mom, a great (insert role here) person while letting your beautiful self shine.

 

I believe there should be joy in getting dressed. At the very least you shouldn’t have anxiety about what to wear as your first thoughts in the morning. Instead of fretting in the morning imagine the joy and peace you’d feel by simply smiling at your reflection. If this resonates with you, then you may be interested in my “Style U” group that is launching in September. Thank you Lisa Amaral for helping me name my group! This group will be meeting for 4 weeks to learn how to find our personal styles.  I’m excited to get started with the 6 women who have already joined the class. We have room for two more. Let me know if you’re interested today

 

 

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Thea Charles